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Submitted on
January 10, 2010
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She's walking into a cold bitter sea
She can feel the icy water touch her on the knee
She continues to walk further and further
Then it starts to hurt her

Her vains freezing like ice
At first the coldness felt nice
But then it makes her vains turn darker blue
And thats when her uncaring thoughts grew

She's shivering and cannot stop
And soon she hears a pop
She falls deeper and deeper under the water
She starts to wonder if sombody saw her

Gasping for a breath and pleading for a rest
Sinking to the bottom and curled in a nest
With her eyes closed and unable to breathe
Then she sinks and goes deeper underneath

She's at her watery grave
It would of been better if she would of been saved
It's a walk into an ocean nobody will forget
Now she is laying in her underwater pit
...
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:iconemootakutdct:
EmoOtakuTDCT Dec 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
A couple minor grammar errors, but otherwise very well done :)
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:iconbreakaway13:
Breakaway13 Dec 8, 2013  Student General Artist
thanks :)
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:iconemootakutdct:
EmoOtakuTDCT Dec 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! :)
Reply
:iconla--volpe:
La--Volpe May 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Do not submit into incorrect folder's at :iconpoetry-book:, otherwise you will be blocked from the group.
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:iconpsychotic-love:
Psychotic-Love May 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
The feels, bro... :iconthefeelsplz:
Reply
:iconmadameshadowenn:
madameshadowenn Apr 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hello! I’m just leaving you a comment to say that I have used the title of this piece to help me create a found poem, which can be found here: [link]

I’ve given you full credit in the author comment section, but if you really don’t want me to use your title, just let me know and I’ll take it out!
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconbreakaway13:
Breakaway13 Apr 6, 2013  Student General Artist
hey :) i don't mind at all! thanks for letting me know and using it :)
Reply
:iconmadameshadowenn:
madameshadowenn Apr 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Awesome, thank you :rose:
Reply
:iconbreakaway13:
Breakaway13 Apr 7, 2013  Student General Artist
your welcome :)
Reply
:iconwykydwyka:
WykydWyka Mar 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
impressive!
Reply
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